Here I Am, Send Me

You gave me a life even though you did not give me life.

When do I let you go?

I can still remember how you held me until I fell asleep at night and how safe it made me feel.

When do I let you go?

I remember singing songs together in the car when we would be stuck in traffic.

When do I let you go?

I remember missing you every single day I was in grade school and how I couldn’t wait to see you again.

When do I let you go?

I remember thinking how amazing and strong you were. You were a superhero to me.

When do I let you go?

I remember how rebellious I was as a teenager but yet you still continued to reach out to me and I actively walked away from you.

When do I let you go?

As a young man I remember all our talks while I lived far away and how throughout my times of trouble you were always there on the phone trying to make me feel better.

When do I let you go?

I remember when I told you when I came to Christ and how it seemed to “confuse” you.

When do I let you go?

I remember noticing you getting weaker and realizing it was time for me to take care of you just as you took care of me.

When do I let you go?

Now that we’re together once again I’ve tried my hardest to tell you about Jesus but still it seems to “confuse” you.

When do I let you go?

You’ll never know how difficult it is to watch you deteriorate and your mind slowly slip away.

When do I let you go?

My hope and prayer every day is that your heart may change so we can be together forever, but right now I don’t know if that will ever happen.

When do I let you go?

I love you with all my heart mama.

I don’t know how to let you go.